The Most Disgusting Meal in the World!

So I think I made possibly the worlds most disgusting meal ever....And I ate it!

Being a Tuesday, the day before "grocery day", our cupboards were looking pretty bare so this morning when trying to figure out tonight's dinner, I grabbed the only thing left in the freezer  - sausages.

While I was at work I figured I could cook them up and cook some vegies and pasta and then mix it all together in a cheesy Napolitano sauce - I remembered seeing a can of diced tomatoes in the cupboard as well. So that was the plan. A quick throw-together sausage pasta dish.

I started by boiling the sausages and thought while they were cooking, I'd prepare everything else.

As soon as I went to the cupboard, the first thing I noticed was that we had no pasta left! Bugger....Sooo I racked my brain for ages trying to think of what else I could do with the sausages. Keeping in mind I still had vegies and a can of diced tomatoes.

I didn't want to do boring old meat & 3 veg so thought I'd try and get a little creative and thought I could mix up the diced tomatoes with a bit of stock and cornflour and make a nice tomatoey sauce base, cook the vegies, cut up the cooked sausages and make like a bake by also adding in lentils and some rice.... (Yes reading back on this slowly right now, I am seeing the error of my ways!!)

So I mix it all together and put it all in a baking dish and thought I could add a little cheese on top....

After baking it for about 20 minutes and noticing it was still rather runny and liquidy I decided I could mix up some egg and self raising flour and make it kind of like a quiche/slice thing....So I mixed it up and added it and re baked for another 15 minutes.

I sort of achieved the outcome I had in mind except well...now It just looked like baked vomit rather than liquid vomit.

Still, I'd spent all that time "cooking" so I figured eh what the hell, lets give it a whirl.

A few mouthfuls in I was thinking "this isn't too bad" but a few more in and I was kinda feeling a little queezy and felt it best to stop eating.

I contemplated a walk to Mickey D's for real food (HAHA), but that meant I'd have to put on a bra and shoes and to be perfectly frank, not only could I not be bothered doing that, my stomach was also feeling a little offended at the attack it just had and wasn't really up for entertaining again.

So that's the story of the baked vomit I cooked for dinner tonight.

Thank god we go shopping tomorrow!!!

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Muffin's Last Breastfeed.

Well, I have been weaning Muffin since the 10th of August and it has certainly been an emotional experience.

As she adapted to having no more day feeds, I stopped the night feeds. She adapted nicely and on the weekend I decided that we would have our last morning breastfeed, and our last ever breastfeed this morning.

On Tuesday and Wednesday however, she was still asleep when I had to get up for work and as a result, I didn't have time to breastfeed her.

I was rather upset by this as I had planned to keep feeding all week and wanted to savor these last boobie snuggles. I also didn't know if this meant she had decided within herself to wean and be done with it.

Confused and not entirely sure what I should do, I decide that I should avoid confusion and take it as a sign that our breastfeeding journey was finished. So on Thursday morning when she woke up and asked for boob, I did say no and as much as it broke my heart, she was OK with it.

After saying no to her, I spent the day feeling really sad and upset that it didn't end how I wanted it to and that I didn't savor what I thought was our last feed on Monday, as much as I should have.

So this morning, Friday the 9th of September, when we woke up and she asked for boob, I sat down with her on the lounge and we had our last ever breastfeed.

I asked Mr.J to give me the camera and I took a few photos and talked to her during our snuggles and made it special and I told her how much I've loved (oh god I'm crying!)...

....Told her how much I've loved breastfeeding her for the last 20 months and that she has grown into a beautiful little girl and that I love her.

I'm glad I did it one last time this morning, so I could make it special and savor the moment. I'm still really sad about it and no doubt, will take time to 'grieve' but I *think* I've made my peace with it.

Now it's time to focus on my upcoming surgery and the rest of the wonderful experiences that I will have with my little girl.

I Love You  Muffin

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