Well I haven’t updated anything on my pregnancy journey for a while and I know that my last blog was a little bit dark but I feel ready to write down some thoughts again.
The reason I haven’t written anything for a while, as you could tell from my last entry, is that I had been feeling a little bit ‘down & out’ of late.
Coming to terms (or trying to) with the fact that I am probably a borderline alcoholic and I really, really miss alcohol, along with all the dental work I’ve been going through combined with all the pregnancy symptoms I've been having, it all sort of took its toll on me and wore me down.
From previous entries, you’ll know that I had to have a dental crown fitted and afterwards the tooth had some sensitivity but that has now subsided and for the most part, everything seems to be going A-OK with that. I do get small little tooth aches here and there but that is just spurred on from some sinus problems I’ve been having. I’ve always suffered from hayfever and allergies and sinus problems my whole life but apparently they tend to flare up when pregnant…something to do with hormones of course…a word which is slowly becoming a swear word in my dictionary!! Anyway, the sinus acting up is what’s causing the toothaches and the dentist is not worried by them so I also shouldn’t be either... I'm trying really hard to not let it bother me.
I also had a cold for a while, not long back, which lasted for about a month. The antibiotics prescribed to me by a local doc certainly helped…I probably would have gotten them sooner if it weren’t for a particular nearby medical centre changing their billing processes.
It was a Monday night, during my cold, and I'd had some time off work the week before but thought I was well enough to go back. Turned out I was wrong and was sent home. As this was happening around the time of the Swine Flu craze (which I think is still kind of going on somewhere in the backgrounds of life), Mr.J wanted me to go to the doctor to just have a check up for peace of mind. So, off I went to the aforementioned medical centre.
After telling the stupid receptionist that I wished to see next available doctor, she then informed me that their policy had changed and it now costs $30 to see a doctor. This was a very new policy, as I’d been there earlier in the month and didn’t have to pay. Being a Monday and given that my hours at work have cut down considerably, I did not have $30 on me to give to her. I asked if there was anyway they could just hold off on that till the next day, let me see a doc and I'd come and pay later. She told me that there was NO WAY it could be done. I informed her that I was 4 months pregnant and she still didn’t seem to care!!! Since being turned, away, I have left a comment detailing this incident in the Google comments section provided for googlers to see when searching for this particular medical centre (Castle Towers Medical Centre…).
Anyway, a week later when I still wasn’t any better, I found a new medical centre that bulk bills and will forever boycott the piazza medical centre (I urge you to as well).
During this time of being sick and in dental pain, I knew I wasn’t up to my standards at work and I knew they knew. Unfortunately, there wasn’t really much I could do about it. While this was the case, the feeling of “I’ve let the team down” was always washing over me and added to my ever-descending state of depression.
I’ve also been having a few not-so-enjoyable pregnancy symptoms…My indigestion has become more regular. I find that chocolate Moove helps it temporarily…I know I can take Mylanta but while I can find other alternatives, I’d much prefer to do that. My sinus problems as mentioned before are also becoming kind of frequent, and again…bugger all I can do about it. And my disgusting 14-year-old-looking skin has NOT cleared up. Turns out that not all pregnant women glow. Some end up looking like the inside of a dirty sponge and lucky me, that’s what I am! That in itself is depressing as I’ve always had almost perfect skin and now words such as ‘clearasil’ and ‘concealer’ and ‘blemishes’ have started forming in my vocabulary and sentences such as ‘eewwww what IS that?’ or ‘what happened to your face?’ have started becoming everyday conversation topics and I hate it. Its also broken out along my upper back which means as the warmth of Spring approaches, I cant wear singlet tops like I usually would…well I can, if I want to make anyone within a 50metre radius of my presence vomit!!
So yeah I have been a little down in the dumps lately and given that I can’t fall back on my usual ‘pick-me-up’ of alcoholism and drug abuse (as in medications etc) it has kinda made me a little bit negative.
However, it’s not all bad. I did have an appointment with Dr Paul and got to see the baby again, which was awesome, it waved at me :) And my belly has started growing a bit more now so when I wear tight tops I actually look a teeny bit pregnant and not so fat any more which is great!
I’m booked into the hospital for when I go into labour and am stoked to learn that all maternity rooms are PRIVATE rooms with ensuite so YAY I don’t have to share with some stranger and her annoying baby and guests. And I am also quite pleased to learn that my health fund covers about 90% of my stay there…and thank god for that too as the bill is like super massive!!
I also had my 18-19 week morphology scan last week and it was so amazing. We got to see all the bits and pieces of the baby and learnt that it is as healthy as the machines can tell and all organisms etc are working fine. AND we have seen that it has 10 perfect fingers and 2 perfect arms and hands which in terms of the thought “will my baby also be born with PS” we now know that if it DOES have PS, it is not hand affected so that’s something positive :)
Well I think that’s enough from me for now…plus its passed 3am and I'm a little tried so I shall be off, and I will leave you with a short clip of the ultrasound – as mentioned above. I cut out the boring bits (close ups of heart, kidneys etc…) and put together the best bits of the baby moving about and I added some background music so feel free to take a look here.
I’m starting to feel happier and trying harder than ever to be more positive with things so let’s hope it stays this way.
TTFN
Betty Boop xXx
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
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